Qosmography

Last night, was looking at old pictures of my dad. It brought back fond memories. But even they could not erase the painful scenes at the hospital during his last days. I know he is in safe hands, but I could not help missing him... terribly... And it aches even more becoz he's flown so far away, and I can't reach him...

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This morning, before leaving for work, I saw my mom holding their wedding photos in her hands. She misses him as much as I do, perhaps even more. But I can't talk to her about him, becoz if I do, I'll start to cry.

Labels: Life

Another pc of bad news... And in such a short time.

I haven't even got over losing my papa. And now, this...

Perhaps he went ahead, to prepare the way and guide her to heaven. I wanna tell her not to be afraid, becoz papa is there.

But who am I to tell her that when I am more afraid than her?

Labels: Life

He hoped that my mom would leave this world 1st, before him.

Not that he found her a burden.
Not that he hated her.

But his only wish is to take care of her till the end. Despite his own sufferings.

His love for us was so great... That it now leaves a void that can never be filled.

Labels: Life

14 Dec 1949 - 28 Jan 2010

The last pic of him, taken on his 60th birthday celebration.

I wonder if he chose when to go. His birthday was on 14th Dec. The day he went away, it was the 14th day of the 12th month in the lunar calender.

And the night I didn't keep vigil at his side, he left. Why didn't he wanna say goodbye to me?

Labels: Life

Been staring at the knob of my half-open bedroom door every night before I sleep.

I kept thinking that, maybe, if I stare hard enough, his hand will magically appear to touch it.

I kept holding his hands while he was in hospital. And I am glad for the chance to be able to. But now, I so wish I could hold them again.

Labels: Life

I'm back!!! This is a darn, darn, darnest late post.

Short updates:

1) I'm super nervous, dunno how tmr will turn out. At least I know I have some super small fingers crossing for me. Thx Drugs!!!

2) Things are not looking so great home front. I pray only for them and nothing else every week. Quite lost actually. I say 'please' to Him, but I dunno what it is I am asking for. I think He knows much better than me, so I say nothing else. I go there, and just stare blankly at Him.

3) Diao listening this song from 苏永康, 乘虚而入. Super old song I know... But I juz like, can....

4) Remembering from the Singapore Idol trailer where the new Singapore Idol was saying "Thank u for making my dreams come true..." I wonder what dreams coming true feels like...

That's it for now at the moment. Come back for more pls.

Labels: Life

There was a time I'd just stand at the doorway of his room, trying hard to listen to the sound of his breathing.

When I can hear him snore from my room, I'd feel relieved. Relieved that despite his pain, he's able to fall into a deep sleep, and that he's still breathing.

I would always pray, that if it is God's will, to take away their pain. If they have to bear this cross, to grant them strength and faith.

I'm glad he has his own faith and hopes. And he holds on to them, living his life as he would if he were healthy and whole. And never resigning to it just like that.

Dad, you are my hero.

Labels: Life

This week is Friendship Week.

No, it's not a day that was officially declared, but it's MY Friendship Week.

To start off, I met up wif my gang on Tuesday nite for Birdie Condor's pre-bday celebration.

On Wednesday, I had a good chat wif my old fren. Old is the word!! We've known each other since pr 3, that makes us frens of 20 yrs!! She's currently holding that record =)
After our chat, we concluded that friends, no need to have many many *wags finger*. U juz nd those precious few that share ur joys and sorrows alike, on sunny days and stormy weather.
While listening to her, I got the feeling that I was hearing myself! We speak sssooooooo much alike!! Hahahah... Yah, u can guess... All the knn and tmd peppered here and there... We thot it could be the Yuhua spirit... Hahhaha....
XF, see if u still remems our school song:

Torch, a learning Yuhua
Long, a bright guiding star.....

Complete the next sentence in the chatbox on ur right pls. No, u dun get any 'two words hint', nor any 50-50 choice. Hehe.... After any indication from u, I will reveal the answer in my next post ;)

Today, Thursday, I'm meeting my 大力士 for dinner. So excited!!! Haven seen her for a looooonggg time.... I hope she dun crush my ribs when I hugz her later. Hah!! But I do secretly wish to have her super strength tho... So that I can crush the iceballs wif my pinky! *smug look*

Norman's wedding is on Saturday. These weddings usually mean a school reunion where u see ur sec sch frens whom u've not met for a few hundred years. I hope they dun ask us all to go on stage for a group shot, or to sing a song (yesssssss, I think it's damn damn BOH LIAO).
Here's to Norman & Debbie... Congratulations!!!!!! Will post pics if I get any chance to take at all... Nowadays dun really like to use my PNS lah, but I dun think it'll be very smart of me to bring my DSLR there right.... It goes wif jeans and tank top, not pretty dresses. But nowadays fashion take photos in sarongs hor? Correct me if I'm wrong, Adrian ;p

Today is 5th Nov. HAPPIEE BDAY BIRDIEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There u go... (I promised I'll mention her here)

Another one for my sis whom I've shared room with for 26 years... HAPPY BDAY JO!!!!!

Labels: Life

It's Jo's time of the year...
A pre-celebration at No.5! We had a yummylicious cake + no music + a gay waiter + a very good lame joke + ....

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I finished this book in exactly a week (I said I would!!!)

It's about the life of a Saint, and it's very inspiring!
No no no!! I dun hope to become a saint, coz I'm ssoooooo farking human wif my desires and all.
But u would like to improve ur daily life in little ways after reading it... Like checking in ur temper, showing more appreciation, practicing humility...

I gotta return it today coz one of the facilitators from Holy Cross borrowed it from the library for me. Got Love!!! Thx Gabriel!!

Labels: Life, Occasions

Was praying the rosary tonite, and for some strange reason, I felt immense joy.
So much so that I was moved to tears on the fifth decade.

I finally understood that joy can be so simple.

Thank you for bringing me to God, and to our Holy Mother.

God bless you always.

Labels: Life

Look wat my dad got me today:

A mj game!

This simple act brought such a feeling of sweetness~
Coz it means he was thinking abt me today while he was out shopping... =)

U'd probably like to know why he bought this of all things. Coz he dun wan me to always play Sudoku. *pengz*

Labels: Life

Friday 8th Oct: Drug's pre-Birthday celebration
Venue: St James Dragonfly
Swaying body, swinging arms wildly and singing loudly to 霍元甲.

Saturday 9th Oct: Eucharist celebration
Venue: Blessed Sacrament Church
Standing still, holding hands and singing quietly.

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Dun get me wrong, I love both celebrations! Juz can't help noticing the starking contrast of my Friday night and Saturday evening.

When it came to the hymns I like, I almost wanted to sway my body and swing my arms in the air. But then, I remembered the person leading the choir is not William Scorpion and his band =p

When we are offering each other the sign of peace, I think about how I give my frens hugssss when intoxicated. Giving and receiving hugs feels GREAT!!!

Drugs, maybe next time we go DF on sat night lah... Then maybe I wun have the urge to jump abt in church.

Labels: Life

I dunno whether it's coz I'm feeling under the weather, or that my prayers are answered. Becoz I can't sleep, and I feel terrible.

If my request of helping to bear a part of it has been performed, I bear willingly.

Give God thanks and praise.
For He listens. To you, and me.

Labels: Life

In loving memory of Winnie...

24082009

Labels: Life

While washing my hands juz now, saw some movement from the corner of my eye.
I stopped still, and peeked over the corner carefully...

蟑螂!!!!! (cockroach, to those who failed mandarin in sec sch).
I observed it for awhile to assess it's movements, and after I convinced myself that it will stay still more or less for at least 5 secs, I dashed over to arm myself with Kill Fast (a lousy NTUC housebrand of insecticide). Muz say my aim improved over the years (at least I dun zua as much as I used to).

I put the can back into it's place, and went back to the scene of the crime to watch the damn thing struggle. Wanted to make sure it's a goner, and I watched intensely, NOT sadistically. After kicking it's legs in the air furiously for sometime, I thot all movement would slow down n eventually stop. But no!! It farking flipped itself upright again! I zao buey hu to the Kill Fast... When I dashed back, it was gone!!!

Knn... Simi Kill Fast... Pui!!! Lousy housebrand!!!

I searched ard the vicinity, but could not find the darn thing. The last thing I wan is a 蟑螂 chochok-ing my Quanquan late at night. But I only scanned wif my eyes, din dare to touch anything in case it jumped out at me. Piangz.... I did the REM (rapid eye movement) the whole time I was peeing. Darn thing cannot let me pee in peace!

Recounted that a fren used to tell me: "It is 螂, u are also lang (人 in hokkien). And u r so much bigger, so scared for wat?" But juz scared can!!!

To assure myself, I concluded that it probably wanted to die in the comfort of it's hole, so it scurried back. But how it can die in comfort while being poisoned by insecticide is another long story lah, so we shall not go there.

Labels: Life

When it was put in front of me, it literally left me speechless. I was really touched... n damn haps!!!

Yes, it may not cost as much as my other rings. But this is special to me too.

Because someone dear owns a same one. It signifies that we are a pair.

I think I wanna sing that song again:

咱二人做阵拿着一支小雨伞 (echo 小雨伞~ 小雨伞~)

雨越大我来照顾你你来照顾我....

Now we can "bright light hurt 小人's eyes" togets.

Labels: Life

Finally completed my online quiz for Stats. Took me One n 1/2 hr to complete 20 mcqs! Scored quite high, so kinda proud *beaming*

More excited abt wat I did in the afternoon...

...tennis!!! Vigorous and loadsa fun! I'm so loving it, even tho I suck at it =p

The salah way of throwing the ball (I nvr throw the ball in the air when I serve anyway, it's juz for the cam... I bounce it off the courts... LOL)

The more wu-sei way of serving as demostrated by chairman.

The "ooh-the-ball-is-coming-and-I-wanna-hit-it-the-badminton-way" style.

Jia zeng tennis style.

Chairman opened up a new pack of balls. We started off with 6, and ended up wif 3 after our session (the missing ones were hit out of court by yours truly, and irretrievable). I promised to provide the balls for our next session to make up.

Achievements I'm proud of:

1) I lasted 30min for my 1st session (not bad lah!)

2) I din do ALL the ball picking (most lah, but not all. Hah!)

Goals I have set:

1) To last an hour of tennis playing

2) To not send any balls flying out of the court

3) To be able to hit back 80% of the balls that were sent my way

Replenished myself wif 2 packets of cold cold ice peach tea afterwards. Woohoo~~!!!!!

Developed a blister on my thumb. Muz be holding the racket the wrong way, or gripping too tightly... Urgh!!

We went for a dip in the pool afterwards. Got healthy not!!! But sun came out in shots, and in-between, it drizzled abit... Tamade...

Well, nxt week can't play n swim coz chairman not free. Gotta wait for another week. That's when he wanna jio gu-lat Yang to play as well. I think I wanna partner him so that I dun have to pick too many balls.

Labels: Life

The more I think abt it, the more angs I get!

1. How can the report take ssooooo bloody long to be ready? When I hear ppl telling me it takes less than a week!

2. Where got ppl jump bid by more than 20k??? Trying to mothafarking smoke me!

3. Keep advertising even after my offer, which I think is more than fair???

Cb muddy rogue agent trying to fark ard!!!

Luckily I got Master Chess Player to teach me how to play the game... hyuk hyuk..... *evil laughter*

Tmr....

We will....

....mummify him...

...bbq him to a crisp...

....and banish him to the shit-hole of property industry and never see daylight again!!!! MUAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

Hopefully saga ends tmr. I will then reveal the baddy and the hero.

Labels: Life

Finally found one that I liked today. Even more rare is that both Red Soya Bean Milk and I finally agreed on the same thing. We were quick to make an offer for it.... BUT..... haizz~~ things nvr usually go ur way, do they?
Amitabh Bachchan says tenacity at all does not work here... becoz of the cb agent! Sounds v knn, but then, there's nothing else to do except keep my fingers and toes crossed that it will eventually fall into my lap.
But then, thou shalt not sit idly. We should keep ourselves in favourable position at all times. Call it the Singaporean kiasu-ness if u wan to (hey, it's National Day today, afterall! =p). So, still on the lookout. And... if I manage to find another comparable bird cage... MUAHAHAHAHA *evil laughter* Watch out, u rogue agent! Coz then it'll be my turn to diao kee lai buey. Then I can reverse my strategy of bua woon, mai bua loon... hyuk hyuk.......

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My FA lecturer called me juz now. He sibei woo sim can! Coz submissions are due, and I don't have enuff comments. So he extended the deadline by another day for me. Awwww..... That's like, sssuperrrrrrrr nice of him lor!!!

Shall try to squeeze out some more comments juz for him, even tho I'm running out of brain juice here....

Thx to peeps who gave me the wu-kelong, boh-kelong takes (generally wu kelong lah... lol).

In conclusion, crystal balls work best when u r researching for investments. The eclipse types are the best.

Labels: Life