Qosmography

Last night, was looking at old pictures of my dad. It brought back fond memories. But even they could not erase the painful scenes at the hospital during his last days. I know he is in safe hands, but I could not help missing him... terribly... And it aches even more becoz he's flown so far away, and I can't reach him...

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This morning, before leaving for work, I saw my mom holding their wedding photos in her hands. She misses him as much as I do, perhaps even more. But I can't talk to her about him, becoz if I do, I'll start to cry.

Labels: Life

Another pc of bad news... And in such a short time.

I haven't even got over losing my papa. And now, this...

Perhaps he went ahead, to prepare the way and guide her to heaven. I wanna tell her not to be afraid, becoz papa is there.

But who am I to tell her that when I am more afraid than her?

Labels: Life

He hoped that my mom would leave this world 1st, before him.

Not that he found her a burden.
Not that he hated her.

But his only wish is to take care of her till the end. Despite his own sufferings.

His love for us was so great... That it now leaves a void that can never be filled.

Labels: Life

14 Dec 1949 - 28 Jan 2010

The last pic of him, taken on his 60th birthday celebration.

I wonder if he chose when to go. His birthday was on 14th Dec. The day he went away, it was the 14th day of the 12th month in the lunar calender.

And the night I didn't keep vigil at his side, he left. Why didn't he wanna say goodbye to me?

Labels: Life

Been staring at the knob of my half-open bedroom door every night before I sleep.

I kept thinking that, maybe, if I stare hard enough, his hand will magically appear to touch it.

I kept holding his hands while he was in hospital. And I am glad for the chance to be able to. But now, I so wish I could hold them again.

Labels: Life