I still remems vividly the day I was offered this haven, and I have been grateful till this day.
We've been through fire-fighting, gourmet 'eat-me~ eat-me~' food, lotsa tortoise laughing at turtle bits, and what nots in the short time we've been togets. Juz like a family. It's a rare treasure that one doesn't find easily. I have it. But why do I have to come to this crossroad where I may have to give it all up? I may sound v stupid here, but then again, who hangs their dirty laundry out there for the whole world to see? I release bits n pieces to peeps closer to home, like Drugs & JoNan; perhaps BFF has a fuller picture. But not my other frens. BECOZ I CAN'T STAND PITY.
Call me proud, call me watever u like. I think I would v much prefer to be referred to as 'that Bitch', instead of 'that poor thing'. I know full well I'm not the worst case there is, but everyone has their own hell to bear. I can get out of it. I can. I must. For me, for ppl I love.
When I was younger, I always thought I have the power to protect loved ones. But now, older (not much wiser), I find my armour like, abit ponchek.
Yes, in the midst of changing my fate. But it's 3 long years. Can my parents wait that long? I seriously dunno the answer. But I will still press on for that 50% chance.
Another reason I may bail out is coz I have blew my chance. I am not the gem that was picked up, and I will nvr be polished to be the shiniest diamond. I have no contributing factors, except blind loyalty. But this is not a quality much appreciated over a piece of paper, and I have nothing else to offer. My confidence is dipping. I dun like to be a burden.
I know I will miss it even more so after, juz like how I miss my Polo counterparts. This insight makes it even harder for me to decide. But we all gotta cross the hurdle ourselves.
Pls God, guide me. Empower me to make the right choice. Labels: Life
