Qosmography

I've had my shot of 100Plus today.

I almost forgot how good it felt to listen and learn. And boy, did it feel gooooood.

Seldom you get a chance to listen and observe 3 great minds come together, each with their own forte and point of views. I used to tell om how I lurved watching and listening to him & egg king son-in-law while they engage in a discussion. Both have different takes on things, different expertise, covering different angles. Sparks fly, and some sprinkled onto me...

I hope to absorb more and grow to be the tallest tree.

Erm... But botak also no use hor...

Ok, grow to be tallest with MOST leaves. How about that? Heheh.....

Labels: Life

Well! The days come and pass just like dat!!

BFF's homecoming was like a family gathering more than anything. Okay, I'm not family, I juz zoh kaypo can! Until Auntie told the people in the market that she has one more daughter... Hahahaha......

I actually planned on driving her home from the airport that day, but couldn't get the car. Nonetheless, I still showed up at the airport. Oi, BFF, next time switch on ur phone ONLY AFTER u get off the plane k!!!

Just a sliding door seperating us. Excitedness!!!!

She couldn't farking recognize me lor!!! She gave a "who-the-fark-is-this-enthu-girl-running-towards-me-with-a-camera" look. Hilarious, but I din manage to catch that on film.

Old habits die hard: Forever biting on straws.... Tsk....

I kept going over for meals that I caught the Bxxx Lxx Blk 1xx Level 15 kampung spirit. It's the "Lang buey gao, siah seng gao" spirit. Hahahhaha.........

Well, she's the princess for the 4 days she's back, so she gets to cha yao n boss her sis ard... =p

She shld be back in her HK apt now...

Well, cheer up!! 5 weeks will be gone in a flash!!!

Labels: Life

Payday is always the most looked forward to day for most working class people. But not me.
It goes out almost immediately the moment it comes in. Can you believe for the rest of the month I'm left with only how much it costs for 4 to eat at Zambuca after paying all the bills? Fark.

I need to find a way out for survival. But I'm held back.

人情. I've been blessed, and I shouldn't be ungrateful. And I will not.

I know this is the right path for me.
I will look for more answers today.

Lord, hear me.

Labels: Life

Was going thru my boss's receipts (to claim lah... I'm not PI-ing him okay!). Guess wat I found:

He went to Labrador Seafood on 16th Jan, sat at Table 12, and was served by.... XIAO CHEN.
*mad laughing* Really got ppl named XIAO CHEN lor!!!
Where got proper names, names that show up on ICs, called Xiao Chen one??? It's meant to b a nickname lor!!!

Oi! Xiao Chen! If u r reading this, u betta swear u r not moonlighting at Labrador Seafood... If not, I will sponge on u every night until i sweat chilli crab zhup!

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Well, tmr's the day!! Excitedness....

This was the last pic we took togets. Eons ago (last yr Aug... caveman age). Bet we both changed alot. Will put up pics for comparison after tmr.

Can't wait to recite the poem 小小羊儿要回家 with her. Our best duet piece... =)

Labels: random

I still remems vividly the day I was offered this haven, and I have been grateful till this day.
We've been through fire-fighting, gourmet 'eat-me~ eat-me~' food, lotsa tortoise laughing at turtle bits, and what nots in the short time we've been togets. Juz like a family. It's a rare treasure that one doesn't find easily. I have it. But why do I have to come to this crossroad where I may have to give it all up? I may sound v stupid here, but then again, who hangs their dirty laundry out there for the whole world to see? I release bits n pieces to peeps closer to home, like Drugs & JoNan; perhaps BFF has a fuller picture. But not my other frens. BECOZ I CAN'T STAND PITY.

Call me proud, call me watever u like. I think I would v much prefer to be referred to as 'that Bitch', instead of 'that poor thing'. I know full well I'm not the worst case there is, but everyone has their own hell to bear. I can get out of it. I can. I must. For me, for ppl I love.

When I was younger, I always thought I have the power to protect loved ones. But now, older (not much wiser), I find my armour like, abit ponchek.

Yes, in the midst of changing my fate. But it's 3 long years. Can my parents wait that long? I seriously dunno the answer. But I will still press on for that 50% chance.

Another reason I may bail out is coz I have blew my chance. I am not the gem that was picked up, and I will nvr be polished to be the shiniest diamond. I have no contributing factors, except blind loyalty. But this is not a quality much appreciated over a piece of paper, and I have nothing else to offer. My confidence is dipping. I dun like to be a burden.

I know I will miss it even more so after, juz like how I miss my Polo counterparts. This insight makes it even harder for me to decide. But we all gotta cross the hurdle ourselves.

Pls God, guide me. Empower me to make the right choice.

Labels: Life

Did not have the mood or spirit to do anything the past few days.

Well, mood still the same, but released some pent up energy, so will blog abit today.

I amaze at how u can meet unexpected peeps at unexpected places, during really unexpected circumstances. What is the possibility? Hhmmmm... Pretty high, if u ask me. Especially since we managed to find pork cubes at Pender Court. It almost took my appetite away, but Georgio Free Pants is tickled pink.

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Missed church last week. And I think I really missed it. The 'Blessed Be God Forever Amen' song kept playing in my mind. I refrained from singing it in the toilet.

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Something happy here. Attended Teck's wedding at Four Seasons last night. Congrats Teck!!!

Did not feel the zest to take pics, so everything turned out ugs. N dun talk abt the salah dress I wore; I'm still mourning for the loss of my sistas... =(

Well, it was a night of entertainment (at the Groom's expense heheh...) and reunion of the Clementeens (as we were so lovingly called by our then Principle). All of us were called on stage for a big group pic. We were so afraid we'll be asked to sing the school song when the emcees refused to let us go after the photo taking.

Ah... To be young and carefree again... "We are one big family~~~"

Labels: Life

I've been told in my face that I'm useless.

Of coz it din felt good to hear that. But he's right.

I'm good at nothing. Except messing up.

I'm not motivated by anything nowadays, and I feel darn sian about life.

I start everyday off badly, and drag myself through the day. I've been told before I always affect other people whenever I'm in a bad mood. So I try not to do that now. Then you gotta act haps when you are feeling far from it. It feels a thousand times worse after you come home from a day of activities when you can finally be yourself with no one around.

Crying to sleep feels scarily normal now.

Labels: Life

While I was smoking at my void deck, this bee bee jumped up on the bench and sat beside me.

After our duet (him meowing, me meowing back at him, him meowing back at me and so it goes on, until we irritated 2 guys who went on to find another chatting spot...), we sat in companionable silence. Though not picture perfect (I suspect he got that swollen eye from some cat fight), he gamely posed for me.

Seems animals have been comforting me recently.

Take for instance Druggy Mouse (ok, she's human, but... erm.... mouse lah! ;p). She attempted to send me haps songs to cheer me up ('attempted' becoz farking msn keep failing to send... tamade...). I really appreciated that, even if she thought nothing of it.

What I could not get from other human beings, who speak the same language as me. Or maybe words juz dun work as well as little gestures on me.

Maybe the FB quiz I took is accurate after all. It says I am 0% human. WTF...

Labels: Life

Stop it already!!! I'm going crazy here!!!!

Every morning I have to listen to all these negative things, adding on to my own problems... It's badly affecting my disposition, and everyday I start off the day in a disorientated mood. I think in no time, I will get depression...

StoptalkingaboutitStoptalkingaboutitStoptalkingaboutitStoptalkingaboutitStoptalkingaboutitStoptalkingaboutitStoptalkingaboutit

STOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPIT!!!!!!

The once happy-go-lucky ger is no more.

Labels: Life

Today when I reached home, I sat on the floor to remove my shoes.

Quanquan (dats him there) scurried out of the room. He came to curl up at my feet, cuddling me even though I am so sweaty and smelly. And refusing to leave even when I told him to.

At that instance, I felt abit of comfort. It's as if he understands.

I'm such a sucker for small gestures.

I love it even more when u offer to hold my hand up the hill.

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Something to look forward to:

BFF (aka Tripod Tan Nee Kiah) is coming home for a few days!

She who understands me without me spelling everything out.

She who completes my sentences for me.

She who laughs crazily with me over our silly jokes.

She who shops for lingerie with me.

She who listens to my whining.

She who tells me "I know" just by me giving her a look.

She who tells me to snap out of it when I am dazed.

She who cares.

U r dearly missed!!! Come back quickly pls...

Labels: Life

This morning, heard my parents talking about where they wanna place their ashes after they die.

Death... Not something I wan to contend with. It only happens to other ppl, not ppl I love.

**********

On the way while sending me to work, my Dad asked me: "Who's gonna send u to work in future after I die?"

I din trust myself to speak, and juz remained silent. It added on to my already heavy heart.

And yet, you have to face the world, acting haps.

Labels: Life

I need a hug. Someone to tell me everything is gonna be alright.

F**kenabe ccb.

Labels: Life

Here I am again.

When my problems keep piling up.
When I have no one to turn to.
When I don't know what to do next.
When I feel so unappreciated.
When I wanna cry so much that I can't breathe.

Where is my place in this world?

I need to escape. Even if it's just for that little while.

Labels: Life

Made a bad decision today... Aarrggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!

I've bravely decided to wear a helmet everyday for the next 6mths.

I wonder if my boss will mind if I wear Biker chic to work everyday....?

Labels: Life

My dad was wondering who switched on the water heater.

"Me lor" I said.

Then he gave me a crazed look: "Weather so hot, u still bath in warm water. U got boh hoh sey not???"

I juz hahaha-ed my way to the bathroom.

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After showering, was preparing to go out. My mom asked me where I'm heading to.

Me: "To church"

Mom: "Go church for wat?"

Before I can answer her, my dad jumped into the conversation.

Dad (matter-of-factly): "Oh, she go church to play mahjong with Jesus."

I juz looked at him wide-eyed. He really caught me off guard there! Then I proceeded to laugh hysterically...

Now who's the warped one? Hahahhaha..... So u know now where I get my warpness from, it's a Chiong factory production *proud*.

If the Lord really knows how to play mj, I hope he lets me gao 大三元, gor dai mua. HUAT AARRRR!!!!

Labels: Life

Amazing things happen.

Was praying to God last nite, and the at the end of the prayer, I thanked God for sending me angels and a protector.

Guess wat came into my possession today:

Angel Stitch!! In case u din oredi know, it's absolutely my favourit-est creature on this planet... *beaming*

There, proof that it's an Angel. Got velvety pink wings and a pink doughnut-like halo...

Got heart on the wing some more...

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Thanks be to God.

Labels: Life

Woke up to a familiar tune today at 6plus am (yes, freakin early...!)

To frens who know me: No, I did not get angs and kpkb.

It was a pleasant surprise. A sibei sibei pleasant one!!

To Drugs: My withdrawal symptoms r gone. Like, in a flash.

Sibei haps.

Labels: Life

Revamped my site... 小小 pleased with it lah!! Thx Prof Panda!!! Lunch as promised (minus Bombing 强)

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Today, I erred on the side of caution. And bombed big time. BIG time. Early in the morn started throwing water out when the boat isn't even sinking yet *kick own backside for the 1009th time*.

Haiz~~~ I deserve to be hanged...

Oh yes... Saw "Orh-livia" today.

Used to be damn bots juz hearing abt her. But strangely, the sight of her today din ruffle my feathers. Could be I can't be bots coz it's history, or I was feeling damned pleased wif myself (I think I'm more adorable, so there! HOHOHO!!!). But I think it's largely coz Buffniff is not ard... If not, I'll b acting like an asshole again... MUAHAHAHA!!!!

Can't help thinking that it's spectacs nite as I'm blogging now.

Maybe Robert is there, coz no one to fark him this time *snicker*

Labels: Life

Was chatting wif Drugs on msn abt our common skelez, and got haunted by this 童谣:

蓝蓝的天空银河里

有只小白船

船上有棵桂花树

白兔在游玩

Pcatz paging for easter bunny... Pcatz paging for easter bunny...
Pls report back at camp in full body kit, complete wif rainbow trout in tow.

Labels: random